Teaser

Some books open something inside you long before you know what that something is.
If a title already stirs unrest, it’s often because it strikes a chord.
This book is patient, it waits until you are ready for it.

Overview of our Spiri-Grail — short

5 STARS Impact – Reveals where you stand in your masculine and feminine energy
5 STARS Educational – High-end education in volcanic love-polarity with heart
5 STARS Expectations – You will revolt and adore at the same time
4 STARS Read/Listen Ease – Poetic and raw at once; prose that asks for a very specific taste bud
5 STARS Read/Listen Joy – For those seeking clarity on attraction and sexuality; a joy to read!

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Storytime

I no longer remember why I bought this book. I only knew that I had to have it. An impulse, that typical etheric nudge that sends my intuition straight to my hands – research mode. Books always worked like that for me. Never through popularity lists or trendy recommendations. I felt like a child wandering through the adult section of a library. Searching. Scrolling. Knowing. Ordering. That’s how this book arrived on my doorstep.

Yet something strange happened. When it arrived, the work did nothing for me. The words wouldn’t sink in. The poetry felt flat. It was as if I couldn’t read it. I, who always feel the spell of words, who reads them as living cloud-beings, and who is sometimes even called a word-witch. But this time it didn’t work. My system saw the words but didn’t receive them.

That had only happened once before: when I discovered astrology. I felt it was part of my path, yet my mind couldn’t hold the language – yet. Sometimes your soul knows long before your brain understands what it is looking at.

Years later, I picked up the book again. No special moment. Just an ordinary evening. But the moment I started reading, everything around me stopped.

My body sang. My heart and senses called out: recognition. Here, I found true masculine energy described not in clichés but in stages I had seen myself. Stages I had gone through with men — stages that had hurt my woman’s heart so deeply. And I hungered for the divine version of it. Mind you: I wasn’t in the space I’m in now, where I can say this is still a patriarchal book, whereas nowadays I see deliverance only coming from a matriarchal stance.

But, make no mistake: Deida is not only speaking to men. He also holds up a mirror to women — a mirror you would prefer to avoid. You don’t want to hear it. But you have to. The sentences you read are raw and pure. They contain what I call core. That is why it works.
Without core energy dripping from the lines, no one has anything to offer me, nor you. But Deida, could tell me what to do every day. His intention behind his words is sublime.

I do wonder whether he could have confronted the male community even more strongly.
Only men can teach masculine energy, and the feminine element is currently much further along in its development. A pity, because the world calls for that male presence. Women, therefore, carry more masculine energy in their systems, out of necessity, and cannot fully embody their feminine essence.

A man doesn’t need a woman to embody his masculine energy — that is the nature of the initiating principle. A woman does need masculine presence to fully open her feminine pleasure energy, which only happens when she feels safe, just because female energy is all about embodied reflection. We can do a great deal on our own, but the highest octave requires a man. I wonder whether Deida realized this when he published this work.

Still, this book remains a masterpiece. Because beyond labels like man and woman, this is about energy. About direction and surrender. About core and movement. About serving and inspiring. About every being who feels an inner duty as an honor, and that honor as an inner duty. The duty of embodying your body and your senses. For such readers, this is required energetic reading.

The polarity described here is not just an idea. It is instinctive fire and passion, wired with safety inside the intensity. In a world full of manipulation and taking, that is almost sacred. And he explains it beautifully. He truly takes us by the hand like green neophytes.

Men often resist the title, especially those who feel uncomfortable when a woman pushes back against their unsafe behavior. Many then become pleasers, thinking that makes them a good man. Ironically, Deida shows clearly that women are not waiting for soft, sweet masculinity. Women do expect protection — especially healers and wisdom women. Soft pushovers help no one. Takers, even less.

And it’s no surprise that men raised with “dry your tears, don’t show emotion, it’s weak, it’s feminine” end up internalizing the belief that women themselves are weak or lesser. A resource meant to serve them on demand.

Nor is it surprising that women raised to be punished for expressing their rage or ecstasy learn to use manipulation as their only safe tool. If they become skilled at it, their masculine counterpart often doesn’t even notice — as many know. Or he considers it fair trade.

So what if we put things back in order, as this book proposes? What if we grow up beyond these childish mechanisms? This work provides us with a guide and a vision for approaching these polarising dynamics with integrity toward maturity. Toward fierce yet truthful love.

This is prose for those who want to understand themselves. For those who want to learn to read energy as language and practise relating. For those who see relationships and tantric exercises as a Field where truth moves. This book is for anyone ready to meet themselves and surrender to the longing that lives in every human soul: real connection in mind, body, and emotion.

About DEIDA

David Deida published The Way of the Superior Man in 1997. It was reissued in 2004 and 2017 and became a classic within tantric, relational, and energetic circles.

Marianne Williamson calls him the rockstar of spirituality.
Tony Robbins sees the book as a challenge to all men to live their true purpose.
Ken Wilber says this work inspires, confronts, or angers almost everyone.

I suspect this is inherent to this territory — the place where shadow is named without apology. But it is done with intention and precision, and you can feel that.

Deida is known for his directness and depth. Little is known about his personal life.
Some teachers withdraw when their teaching becomes more important than their name, or vice versa, and I suspect there comes a point when someone who embodies this so intensely wonders what life still has to teach thèm personally.

Deida taught for 13 years, then withdrew, but is now iconic again in the relational landscape.

During his long absence, Michaela Boehm — known as Will Smith’s tantric relationship therapist — continued his work. I once attended a workshop with her, but honestly, I wasn’t particularly impressed by the accents she personally added. I do take into account that this might be on me.

More context about our Spiri-Grail score

5 STARS Impact — Reveals where you stand
This book shows clearly how your masculine organizing principles and feminine pleasure principles move, no matter whether you’re more archetypal or fluid.
It reveals where growth is needed.
It changes how you see yourself, your relationships, and your desires.

5 STARS Educational — High-end teaching with heart
True techniques.
No superficial tantra band-aid.
This work is about instinct, presence, and true embodiment.
It offers insights applicable to polarity relationships, with all the complications and challenges that come with them.

5 STARS Expectations — Revolt and adore
The title triggers, but its content goes further than you expect.
You will feel resistance and agreement — that is the point.
The book asks for honesty and gives direction.

4 STARS Read/Listen Ease — Poetic and raw
Deida writes intensely and vividly.
His style demands attention for each chapter, and after taking one in, some quiet time to contemplate it.
For some, this takes a moment, but those with a taste for this lyrical prose will be taken by its depth.

5 STARS Read/Listen Joy — For honest hearts
For seekers of clarity, this is pure reading pleasure.
For those who feel energy, it is a homecoming.
My body sang each time.
And after all, that is what we’re looking for.

Bring it home

This is not a soft book. But it is sincerely genuine. It doesn’t tell you what you want to hear, but it tells you what you need to know.

I was looking for a book that could give words to something living inside me.
I didn’t know what it was until it revealed itself.

The Way of the Superior Man worked on me for five years before I was ready for it — it literally radiated through the atmosphere of my room every. single. day.

Maybe it opens itself to you today.
Maybe much later.
Both are equally fine.

To Deida: Thank you for your service, Sir!

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